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meatloafcrap
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Name: Veronika
Birthday: 3/30/1987
Gender: Female
Interests: I was once the wine, and you the wineglass.
I was once alive, when you held me.
God became the glass,
all things left were emptiness
Oh, my little girl, if you look out
andsee a trace of dark red that used
to be my face, in the clarity of his
grace: remember me.
Expertise: Dance Dance Revolution!
Occupation: JC Penney
Industry: Retail
Message: message meEmail: email me
Website: visit my website
Member Since:
8/27/2004
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| After an 8 month hiatus...
Growth. It can't be forced, yet it almost happens most when we want it least.
The
end of the summer is near. It's been crazy. I have learned so much more
over the past few months than at any other definitive time in my life.
God has taught me so much, and I'm so eager to find out how He will use
me over the next year.
This has been a time of change. I've
realized a lot a lot about the influence of attitude over the past
year, and am regularly referred to as always happy/smiling. However,
towards the end of last semester, I realized that despite my
"happiness," I never really felt a lot of joy or genuine love. I mean,
I genuinely love my friends, but life had just grown so bland and I
felt as if even my "joy" and "love" for people lacked true emotion. I
began to see more of God in the pain and suffering in impoverished or
persecuted people than in the comfort of churches, and knew that I
wanted something more for my life (or, say, God wanted something more
for my life) than church on Sundays, Bible study Tuesdays, and the
monotony of work six days a week. My life had become routine. What
meaning is in this? Where is the love? the passion? the drive? the zeal
for life? What had I become? The mountains were high, thus the valleys
were low. Periodically, I would find myself at the top of these
mountains, and, for lack of anywhere else to go, I would jump off,
sending myself into some bout of bitterness, anger, or unsettled
feeling. I knew there was something more. Despite growing closer to God
over the semester, I knew that something was missing.
True passion. Unadultered, selfless, pure love. and joy.
I
told God that I was sick of the monotony of life. I asked him to give
me something more. something passionate. To experience love in its
truest form.
This he gave.
The summer was a flurry of
emotion. For the first time I knew what it was like to be loved to the
fullest extent. To be held in the arms of someone who loved me more
than anything. To know that I am capable of being loved fully. To lie
under the stars and know that no matter what goes on the world, that
there is someone who will always love me no matter what.
Unfortunately,
as I experience the love of another, I could not yet know what it meant
to love in return. I could not return this love. I had never healed
from a previous broken heart, some years before. I had never given this
to God... allowed God to heal me. Until I had surrendered my life and
love to God, truly loving him first, I could not show godly love. This
resulted in a hard object lesson, in which God healed me. This healing
brought an end to emotional apathy. For the first time in years, I
felt. Just plain felt. God had made me whole again... but being healed
meant I was again capable of feeling pain. I finally knew how to
love... and love with a godly, selfless, unconditional love. The love
that drives away fear. The love that says, "No matter what, I will
remain."
Paul said, "And now these three remain: faith, hope, and love. But the greatest of these is love."
Just
three weeks ago I realized what it meant to be a follower of Christ. It
meant to love. It's not following a list of laws... precepts...
ordinances. It's about loving to truly and fully that nothing else
remains.
God is love.
To love is to know God.
Without God there is no love.
Without God we are a selfish people.
Without God there is darkness.
God is light.
The darkness does not understand the light.
The world does not understand the love.
The world does not understand God.
Jesus (who is God... thus both love and light) came into the world.
The world did not recognize him.
He said that Love is the greatest commandment.
This fell on deaf ears.
Those who recognized the love of God were revolutionaries.
We should be revolutionaries.
Everything
we do, as followers of Christ, should demonstrate love. Our lives--in
living to glorify the Father--should proclaim his love, both in words
and deeds. James said that without deeds, faith is dead. Deeds? as in
the Law of Moses? by no means! Christ made a new covenant. As in the
days of Moses the covenant between God and Israel was sealed in blood
by the sacrifice of lambs and bulls, so the new convenant was sealed by
the blood of Christ, which was poured out for no reason but love. True,
intense, passionate love. Paul says in Romans 12 that "love does no
harm to its neighbor, therefore love is the fulfillment of the Law. In
the words of St. Augustine, "Love, and do what you please. This love is
what God wants for us. To truly LIVE we must understand that He loves
us SO MUCH that he wants nothing more for us to BE LOVED. Is there any
feeling in this world more incredible than that of being loved? How can
we want anything more?
I knew this summer what it meant to be
loved for the first time. Now I can understand why God loves us and
wants us to know his love so much. Now, even though I no longer am held
by that one who loved me in this world, I am held by One whos love
never fades, never fails, never surrenders to defeat. One who holds his
arms wide open and says, "Come to me, all you who are weary and
burdened, and I will give you rest."
Christians often refer to
the "Gospel" or "Good News" of Christ. What if we understood how much
more than simply "good" this news was? Good news is translated from the
greek euangelion. More literally translated, the greek eu- becomes the
word euphoric and angelion, message. The purpose of Christ becomes,
then, more than simply, "Oh, some news that might mean something to a
few people here and there" to "A message that that so touches the lives
of mankind that it becomes not simply a news but a state of being, an
undefinable state of Joy and Peace that transforms our lives and
becomes the Word by which we live."
The essence of Christianity
is not found in a church building. He will not be found in the Law. He
will not be found at some potluck aimed at igniting a sense of
fellowship among believers. Christ... who is in himself the essence of
Christianity... can only be found in the heart of one who truly seeks
him. Yahweh (the Lord) promises us that anyone who searches him with
all their heart will find him. Are we searching? or are we sitting in a
Sunday morning service waiting for Him to make the appearance?
Have
you experienced a love that remains? never fails? is always open to us
if we only grasp it? You can. A man once walked upon this earth that
spent time not with the wealthy, the attractive, the noble, but rather
the down-trodden, repressed, despised, lame, unloved, lost, and dirty.
His sole purpose was to love. He wants nothing more than for you to
experience what it is like to be held by someone who loves you more
than anything... to take from you your burdens and anxieties... to give
you rest in the comfort of his arms... to cry on the shoulder of Him
who will never turn you away. He simply wants you to Be Loved. His name
is Jesus Christ. He is God. He is Love.
<3 | | |
| I don't want this to be an advertisement, just an invitation. Bible Study on Tuesday nights is growing fast and it's just been an amazing time growing closer to new and old friends. It's the highlight of my week.
Many of you have probably heard me talk about this and probably been invited at some point. I just wanted to let everyone know what's going on with it, and if any of you would like to come... that would be AWESOME.
It's been going on for over a year now, which is amazing, and we've recently incorporated some newer aspects into it. We now include about a half-hour of worship at the beginning, which is always amazing, and every third Tuesday of the month is devoted to what has been going on in people's lives and in their walk with the Lord, as well as spending more time in prayer than we are able to allow on other weeks due to time constraints (not to say that we suppress prayer the other weeks, we just aren't able to discuss prayer requests to the extent we do on "prayer week"). This past week we also had-for the first time-a communion service, with the breaking of the bread and all.. it was pretty powerful. The point of all this is, it's always a great time, and I would LOVE it if any of you would like to come sometime. No matter who you are or what your spiritual belief is... how long we've known each other or how long it's been since we've talked... it doesn't matter. I would love to see you and love for you to come. YEAH! It's great. We hang out afterwards for a while too... yeah. It's a good time. 
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| This is how a Headline from Fox News Channel read today around 3pm: Your World Cavuto
NY Times: "Americans shop while Iraq burns." ... Makes you proud to be American, don't it?? | | |
| What is this?
Harsh, rigid, rough.
How does it feel?
Jagged, sharp, painful.
How does it look?
Bleak, bland, dreary.
What are the chances?
Who knows?
What is this?
Truth?
Who am I?
I don't know.I'm living an illusion. Safely wandering through life. Complacent. Not even wandering. Content to stand still. What does this mean? Where do I go? Nowhere. I fear change. I fear. I'm safe, and I like it that way. Why change? Why move on? Why struggle?
Why not?
This isn't life. Life isn't sitting on my sofa watching movies or browsing the internet. Life isn't waking, working, sitting, sleeping. Life isn't even friends, family, or anyone else. Life isn't people. Life isn't oblivion.
Life is unexpected. Life is waking up in the morning and not knowing what is going to happen that day. Life is loving. Life is change.
Life is a mystery.
What is this?
There are some who live from paycheck to paycheck, never knowing if they'll have enough money this month to pay the bills. There are some who choose less respected professions to make the money needed to get by. There are some who choose unethical means to pay the bills. There are some whose lives have been torn apart by sickness or violence. There are some whose lives have been affected or torn apart by the sickness of or violent action towards a loved one. There are some who have never experienced love in the way that it is meant to be experienced. There are some who are so stressed out by life that they turn to another form of happiness. There are some who experience the ups and downs of life-the happy, the sad, the hope, the despair, the love, and absence of love-to a more dramatic extent than many people will ever fathom. Then there are some who are content to live life safely, complacently, and in oblivion. This is me. I'm content to live safely. To never really feel the effects of life. Is this truly living? What is truth? Truth is a mystery. Life is a mystery. God is a mystery. Why be content with the status quo; why settle for things as they are? Why not strive for more?
I don't know.
I say I love, but I fear. Can I have both? If perfect love drives out fear, is fear then all that remains? Has this fear driven out the love? I fear. I say I love, but truly I fear. I live with this hypocrisy. I search to find the end of it?
Where is the end? Where?
I hate hypocrisy, both in myself as well as others. Aye, I am quick to point this flaw out in dealing with others, but how fast this plank does grow in mine own eye! I can't live with this. I can't live with myself. I must change.
I fear change.
I fear.
I do not love. I fear.
If I truly loved, how much of a difference would that make? I want to love. I do. I try, but I fail because I only know fear.
Fear only knows me. I want to live. I want to love. I want truth. I want to live truth instead of a this… lie. The truth is often not as it seems. It is often painful. It is often hard. But it is the truth, and that's what I want. "What do you think? There was a man who had two sons. H went to the first and said, 'Son, go and work today in the vineyard.' " 'I will not,' he answered, but later he changed his mind and went. "Then the father went to the other sin and said the same thing. He answered, 'I will, sir,' but he did not go. "Why of the two did what his father wanted?" "The first," they answered. Jesus said to them, "I tell you the truth, the tax collectors and the prostitutes are entering the kingdom of God ahead of you. For John came to you to show you the way of righteousness, and you did not believe him, but the tax collectors and the prostitutes did. And even after you saw this, you did not repent and believe him. What is this?
Uncertainty, distress, fear.
Why?
A lack of trust. Hypocrisy. Pharisaical actions.
Who?
Me. All that is me.
Why?
I don't know.
What to do?
I don't know.
What is this?
...I don't know. | | |
| Story: There was a British missionary by the name of Robert J. Thomas who had a heart for missions work in Korea. He spent years studying the country and the language, and in 1866 he joined a trade ship sailing to Korea for a chance to spread the gospel. The Korean's were very wary of foreigners, and when the trade was stranded along the coast of the Taedong River, they felt threatened and attacked, murdering the entire crew. When Thomas knew that it was over, he simply held up the Korean Bible in the air, shouting, "Jesus, Jesus!" His head was cut off.
Cut to twenty-five years later. A visitor to South Korean noticed a strange wallpaper on a peasant's house. At closer glance, he saw that it was the pages of the Korean Bible that Thomas had been holding as he died. The peasant had read it and given his life to the Lord, then pasted its pages to his walls to preserve the writing, and to share it with his friends. People came from all over the country to read the book on the walls of his house.
Today, fourty-percent of South Koreans are Christians, due to the faith of this one man. This man travelled to Korea to spread the gospel, but even though he never preached it to them, he attained exactly what he came to do. I wish I had that kind of courage. | | |
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